Blessings and Sadness

I spent most of Sunday crying. (I swear I'll try to post some funny and not-so-weepy things here soon, sorry!) Our church has been growing and growing, which means that small groups need to grow and change, as well. I've been in the same small group for almost five years, so I've been sheltered from most of these changes, though I have been sad to see some friends move into different groups as our group became too large. BUT. Now I am the friend who is moving to a new group.

You see, mostly I haven't been moved because I've DUG MY NAILS into the sides of my small group leader's wife and refused to go anywhere else. She is AMAZING. She is humble and honest (two things I am not very good at) and has been an incredible mentor to me over the last five years. She is SO "steady", whereas I'm an emotional roller coaster. As soon as I knew that I was going to be moved, I was really sad, but also excited to get to know a new group of people. But then Sunday rolled around (our final small group meeting) and I was just sad, sad, sad. I started to realize how much I've taken for granted this wonderful mentor I've had and all that she has walked me through - difficult job situations, grieving over close friends moving away, confusing boy situations, moving to Wisconsin, tense relationships with friends....etc, etc, etc. She has wisdom and sound advice in every area and I will so miss turning to her for things like this (not that I never will, but now I have a new small group leader to turn to).

Another woman who is also moving to a different small group was also crying on Sunday and shared something along these lines: "It's really good that leaving this group is so hard. It means that we have been so blessed while we've been in this group. If it wasn't hard to leave, that would mean that we don't care." That really resonated with me. Not everyone has such great care and prayer from their church family. So even though it is very sad to leave such a wonderful group, it's only because I've been so blessed by it. AND it's not like I will never see these people again at church, it just won't be on such a consistent level.

SO. Even though I'm sad, I know it's because I've been so blessed.

Starting Over

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43: 18-19

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I feel like I am starting over. Or that I need to start over. When we "spring ahead" with our clocks, I always feel that nature is starting over, and I have a chance for a fresh start, too. And while the weather this week isn't nearly as pleasant as it was last week, the longer hours of daylight and the grass that is showing itself give me hope that a new season is on it's way.

Some of my starting over has to do with "little" things, like the fact that I had finally gotten to the point where my driving record had no tickets on it for five years, and then I went and got a ticket last week. So I'm starting over on working toward a ticketless record. And I had begun to see some improvement in a shoulder injury that has really been bothering me....until I fell on the ice last week and really messed it up. So I'm starting over in my treatment plan with a doctors appointment this Thursday.

Some of my starting over has to do with "big" things, like my employment. I've honestly been in a "desert" when it comes to my job. I've considered for awhile if I should stick it out or move on. I'm starting a job search, and while I'm also waiting for the dust to settle on a few new developments at work, I'm somewhat convinced I'm being called in a new direction. Which might actually mean I'm being called to a new state. Which is scary and exciting. I'm praying about the timing of these new developments and that my choice would be made crystal clear - and I'd love it if you would join me with prayers of your own.

My AP gave me the above verses from Isaiah a while back, and I keep coming back to them. Throughout much of the Old Testament, the Israelites clearly wondered what God was doing, but in these verses He reminds them that He has, does, and will care for them in their literal wilderness and desert, or in figurative wilderness and desert (captivity in Egypt, being under Babylonian rule). He will make a way. He will provide a river.

Another note my AP gave me a long time ago (have I mentioned how encouraging my AP is?!?!) was a note from a sermon that said "God is sovereign over every famine". I remember at the time she gave me the note, I was going through a discouraging time as a home owner. It felt like a famine financially. I've been encouraged by the ways God has provided even without me having a renter at the cabin. God is sovereign over every famine. He will make a way. He will provide a river. Sometimes being single feels like a famine. Sometimes work feels like a famine. Sometimes my relationships leave me famished. But God has a purpose for my life and has ordained every step.

I'm facing some fear in making decisions about work. What if I make the wrong choice? What if nothing good comes along and I'm stuck in the desert? What if I move and don't like it? What if, what if, what if. I was SO encouraged by the words from the song "Completely Done" that we sang on Sunday. Even if my future at work isn't clear, my future in Christ is clear. I don't need to fear failure, because Christ will keep me. I don't need to fear making the wrong choice, because God has already completed my story - he performed a miracle to save me and He will guide and direct me.

So I'm starting over. I'm looking for a new thing, all the while holding tight to the "new thing" mentioned in Isaiah that has God has done for me; He saved me to redeem my story, and he cares about every step of it.

"Completely Done"

What reason have I to doubt
Why would I dwell in fear
When all I have known is grace
My future in Christ is clear

My sins have been paid in full
There's no condemnation here
I live in the good of this
My Father has brought me near
I'm leaving my fears behind me now

Chorus
The old is gone, the new has come
What You complete is completely done
We're heirs with Christ, the victory won
What You complete is completely done

I don't know what lies ahead
What if I fail again
You are my confidence
You'll keep me to the end
I'm leaving my fears behind me now

By Jonathan Baird, Ryan Baird, and Rich Gunderlock

A New Approach

My sister shares some incredibly encouraging thoughts on scripture reading. I definitely need encouragement in this area, and she expresses much of what I've thought or felt in a new way. Here is her conclusion:

I like the food analogy. There is a time for feasting. There is a time for life-changing, emotional encounters with God's Holy Word. It's like Christmas dinner (which, some would argue, can be a life-changing, emotional experience itself). And when the time comes for such an experience, it should be treasured, celebrated, enjoyed, and valued. But it might not be the norm. And it certainly isn't necessary on a daily basis.

Sometimes you just need a piece of toast to hold you over until dinner.

The funny thing is that these "forgettable" meals are actually the important ones. They are the life-sustaining ones. You can live without an annual Christmas feast. You can't live without all of your forgettable meals. You would probably only eat on holidays and even then, you wouldn't be able to enjoy it. Your stomach would be so shriveled - so familiar with your starvation-that the feast would sicken you.

So, here's to a new approach to Scripture in 2011! May it be a life-sustaining year. And may it prepare me for the feast, should it come.

New Perspective

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul."

Psalm 23:1-3a

I'm thankful to a girl in my small group who indirectly helped me to look at this set of verses in a way I don't think I ever have (or would have). You know when you've heard a passage so much that it starts to lose it's meaning? (I don't think I'm the only person who experiences that....) Well, I haven't really applied this passage at all recently, but I was grateful to have a friend bring it to my attention.

I've had a few frustrating moments with friends recently (and, I'm fully aware, "frustrating" is just a "nicer" way of saying things like "angry, annoyed, prideful because I wouldn't have done that" or other such sinful attitudes). Mostly things came to a head on Saturday when there was a beastly snow in Minneapolis - bad enough to call a snow emergency - and I was in Chicago while my car sat on the wrong side of the street, about to be towed, all because I hadn't thought ahead. I spent most of the day trying to track down my roommate to tell her where my spare key was, but soon her phone was off, I hadn't talked to her yet...and it was getting late. I needed someone to simply drive to my house, knock on the door, and tell my roommate to move my car. Pretty simple, right?

I've spent numerous nights dog-sitting, house-sitting, baby-sitting, bringing meals and treats, hosting parties, etc......I was positive I could call in a favor from someone. Because I did know the weather was bad, I didn't want to bother anyone who lived too far away, and I certainly wouldn't be calling my friend who is 37 weeks pregnant, or the friend who has a newborn, or the friend who has two kids in bed already.....the list was getting shorter. Numerous texts, calls, and even talking to people live turned up NO ONE who could do me what seemed the be the tiniest favor.

I felt very ALONE. Which strangely made me feel very SINGLE (funny how those struggles sneak up on you). All I NEEDED was someone to move my car....right? Wrong. All I need is the Lord (He is my shepherd, I shall not want). And even if every person I contacted could have moved my car, they can't restore my soul (HE restores my soul). I could have used that perspective while I was throwing a fit about my car (and being annoyed with my friends), but better late than never.......

(The end of the story is that my WONDERFUL accountability partner responded that she was able to do me the favor, even though I didn't end up needing to call in the favor since I tracked down my roommate after 11pm to solve the problem and save me $200)

(OH, AND....after reading this through again, I don't want ANYONE to think that I don't LOVE dog-sitting, house-sitting, baby-sitting, bringing meals and treats, hosting parties.....because I DO! In fact, I feel specifically called to those things in this "season" as a single person [see core values posts], so PLEASE keep the calls coming!)

Introspection

"The postmodern infatuation with journey feeds on and into a preoccupation with our own stories. If my grandparents' generation could be a little stoic and not terribly reflective, my generation is introspective at a level somewhere between self-absorption and narcissism. We are so in-tuned with our dysfunction, hurts, and idiosyncrasies that it often prevents us from growing up, because maturity is tantamount to hypocrisy in a world that prizes brokenness more than health. I'm not advocating stuffing all our feelings, but we must learn that self-expression and being true to ourselves are not the surest guides to Chrsitlikeness. Sincerity is a Christian virtue, as is honesty about our struggles. But my generation needs to realize that Christianity is more than chic fragility, endless self-revelation, and the coolness that comes with authenticity. We live in a blogging culture, which suggests that just because we have an opinion on something it must be worthwhile."

I liked this quote from Kevin DeYoung that I came across in the book I'm reading. Now, granted, this quote applies to me in a few ways: 1) I'm a part of the generation he's talking about and 2) I actively participate by having a blog which suggests that "just because we have an opinion on something it must be worthwhile" (in fact, that statement alone was one thing holding me up from starting a blog two years ago....but that's another post). Anyway, I like the quote because I think that so many people in my generation think too much and do too little (like I mentioned in my previous post about service/spiritual gifts - we might benefit from less concentration on our own "stories" (life/journey) and more concern for the "stories" of others).

We're obsessed with filling out our Facebook pages so that everyone knows exactly what music and movies we like. We write paragraphs upon paragraphs on dating websites about how unique and great we are, just hoping we might catch someone's eye - as long as they are just as unique and great as we are. We want to know and be known - and I understand that - but it can get to a level of introspection "somewhere between self-absorption and narcissism", like the quote says. (I've sometimes thought that I should make a profile on a dating site that says the truth: "I'm painfully ordinary. I go to work everyday, I hang out with my friends now and then, I like my church, my family is normal, and I'm super average at every sport I've ever tried." Because, really, that's the truth. I'm not making the cure for cancer and I haven't sent enough money to a third world country to solve their water issues, so.....yeah. Pretty ordinary.)

I will say that I like telling stories and I like being a part of "the Story", and I do see value in that. I also could probably benefit from a little more introspection in some areas of my life instead of just filling my time with wasteful "comforts" and busy things.....but in general I think this quote was thought provoking (obviously...based on this rambling post).

See the Need; Meet the Need

From Sunday's sermon: finding your spiritual gift doesn't require filling out forms, taking surveys, making inventories. What it requires: look out, see the need, and move to meet that need.

Pastor Rick: We can get so introspective when trying to identify our spiritual gifts that we miss the opportunity to use our gift to serve. We can get so distracted by identifying our spiritual gift that it becomes more about establishing our own identity and more about self-fulfillment than it is about serving others. Let's not let that happen. See the need, move toward the need, and meet that need, and you will discover your spiritual gift.

I also liked this Edward Clowney quote: "Gifts are discovered in service. We might rightly ask about the gift we have received but we will not gain the answer by introspection. It is in humble service that we discover the gifts we have and the greater gifts that we may need."

Less thinking, more doing.

Possibly Appropriate Quote

Serious lack of blogging in April. Mostly due to the incredible funky attitude I've been dealing with for a few weeks. Things not up for discussion in bloggy-world, and I'll probably just shrug my shoulders at you in the real world if you ask, so don't bother. I do have a plethora of drafts in Blogger to clean out, so I'll work on that today. As I started the clean-up process, I ran across this quote I read over my sister's shoulder on our flight to Lithuania. It's a possibly appropriate quote for my funk.

"Most of us are not capable of being our own spiritual directors. We don't have the perspective needed to choose the things that will really change us. Deep down we may not even want change. I like to say everyone wants to be transformed but nobody really wants to change." Fredrica Mathews-Green

More Encouraging Words

Mark 11:22-24 : 22 And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. 23 Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Isaiah 40:27-31 :

27 Why do you say, O Jacob,

and speak, O Israel,

“My way is hidden from the Lord,

and my right is disregarded by my God”?

28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary;

his understanding is unsearchable.

29 He gives power to the faint,

and to him who has no might he increases strength.

30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,

and young men shall fall exhausted;

31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

they shall walk and not faint.

Patience, People

(I came across this post from November in my drafts this morning, and I still think I can learn from some of my thoughts in it, so I decided to post it, even though it's rather old)

I have really grown in my patience over the last few years, but I still have a long way to go. I got a good reminder of why I need to grow my patience this last week at Bible study: because the Lord is extremely patience with us, and I need to strive to be more like God.

The Lord’s patience is what really stood out to me while learning about Gideon. When Gideon was told he needed to save Israel from the Midianites, he doubted he was able to. So the Lord reassured him. But Gideon was still skeptical. So he tested the Lord. Gideon asked him to make his fleece wet and the ground around it dry. You start to think “ummm..Gideon. This is the Lord. You probably shouldn’t test him. You should probably trust Him.” But the Lord made the fleece wet and that was that. OR NOT. Gideon tests the Lord AGAIN. This is the part of the story where I start shaking my head and saying “nononononononononono, Gideon….Don’t test the Lord again! Just go with it! He will equip you!” This time Gideon wanted the fleece dry and the ground wet, and the Lord proved again that He would do as He promised.

This story also caused me to think about what things in my life I feel like I need God to prove for me (i.e. what do I feel like I need to lay a fleece out for). What things has God asked me to do but I have politely ignored him, thinking “that must not be right”. Or thinking “well, THAT’S impossible….I’ll wait for a sign.”

So, as I was thinking about the patience I’ve accrued in the last few years, it mostly has to do with day-to-day stuff. I’m used to waiting in lines, waiting in traffic, etc, thanks to my job, so things like that don’t raise my blood pressure anymore and I don’t (always) operate very sinfully when my minute-to-minute patience is being tested. But…..big picture things are another story. As my friends celebrate their fifth (!) wedding anniversaries and as I attend their children’s first and second birthday parties, I realize how impatient I am with my singleness. I see how patiently the Lord has delt with Gideon, and with Israel in general (for crying out loud), and with me (for goodness sake), so I will continue to strive for more and more patience. And trust, even though I have no fleece to lay out.

One Single Sermon

I listened to a sermon on singleness this weekend, and after reading through my notes again, it is quickly becoming one of my favorite sermons on singleness. It was titled "Courtship Shmourtship" and it was given by the man who literally "wrote the book" on courting.

I think it is good to listen to many (wise) points of view on dating and courtship because I am certain that there is no ONE "right" way to go about dating, but there are also things to be aware of in order to avoid many of the "wrong" things there are about dating...does that make sense?......so I like to hear what people think about this whole dating and relationship thing.

And the first thing that caught my attention about this sermon was that he was preaching from the set of verses I chose for my core values. [Remember months ago (it was so long ago I can't even find my own post on it) when I was going to get around to telling you what my core values are.....yeah.....I'll get to it......]

If you are single, I would recommend you listen to the sermon (and possibly the second sermon in the series, which I have yet to listen to). If you aren't single, I will just share some of my favorite things I took away from the sermon (paraphrased).

A better problem for men to have is to adjust the context of pursuing someone than to pursue no one at all. Women: let men be your brothers and don’t assume there is more than friendship unless he actually STATES IT with his MOUTH.....in ENGLISH.........TO YOU. Not “he sorta kinda told me in winky language that he liked me”. This is not the place to get a word from the Lord, a word from him is more helpful.

Let the men in the church be brothers to the women in the church. If you feel that there is a lack of forthrightness and communication, women don’t have to keep entertaining that time – there is a point when a certain level of time and attention makes it hard to understand where that interest comes from, and women can let the men know that. Don’t read into it – and that’s for everyone in the church, too. If you see a friendship growing, don’t ask the girl where it is going – she is trying to let the guy lead in the relationship and it isn’t helpful to ask her about it! Let friendship grow naturally.

A single woman should not have to have a boyfriend to feel cherished and cared for in the family of God. (walking to car, drawing her out in conversation, etc) But what about guarding heart? Men’s care should be consistent for all single women so there won't be confusion. Sisters in your life should have total confidence that if you have interest, you will make that clear and there won’t be a vague relationship for an extended period of time.

We do need to guard our heart from sinful desires and being led astray. We don’t accept what the world says to follow our hearts. This shouldn’t become a self focused attempt to avoid EVER being disappointed. Don’t run away from relationships the moment you feel attraction – God can help you process that in a healthy way. Don’t cut yourself off from the good gifts of fellowship and friendship that God has for us. Don’t flee any disappointment: we don't need a life free of disappointment, but a life filled with faith. God will help us in those moments.

More On Obedience

From Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon, entry of August 14 (Evening):

He is the Master, and His knowledge is to serve us instead of our own; we are to obey, not to judge: "The servant knoweth not what his lord doeth." Shall the architect explain his plans to every hodman on the works? If he knows his own intent, is it not enough? The vessel on the wheel cannot guess to what pattern it shall be conformed, but if the potter understands his art, what matters the ignorance of the clay? My Lord must not be cross-questioned any more by one so ignorant as I am.

Less About Dreams and More About Obedience

I listened to a very interesting interview today with the creator of VeggieTales, Phil Vischer. Maybe I'm way out of the loop, but I did not realize that Big Idea Productions was sued and went bankrupt. Thus, VeggieTales is now owned by another entity, and Phil Vischer lost everything he had ever worked for and created with VeggieTales. If you want to read more specifics, you can go here (disclaimer: I haven't personally read this entire article -written by Mr. Vischer - but from skimming it, I assume it lines up closely with the interview I heard).

The first thing that struck me about the interview was the humility Mr. Vischer displayed in talking frankly about the mistakes he made and the condition of his heart in regard to success. He admitted to having an attitude of saying to God: "Here is my big plan, I just need You to show up and bless it." This is something I do so much, and I'm sure many of us do. We desire things, we pursue things, we make plans and set goals....and we really want that to be what God does for us. Or we just want to do it and have God bless it. When talking about making plans, Mr. Vischer said "As a Christian, where I am in 20 years is none of my business. If I've given Christ lordship of my life, where I am in 5 years is none of my business. My business is: what has God given me to do today and am I doing it?!"

He really focused on making life less dreams and more about obedience. He said "dreams" are very American things. You need to achieve and succeed to matter. You need to be reaching for the very, very best or you aren't trying hard enough. Dreams give you energy, purpose, ......life. And that is what is so wrong - because Christ is Life! What gives us energy and purpose should be obedience to Him.

I think this interview struck me because a) I am a person who sets goals b) I have "dreams" for my life c) my life is not currently what my "dream" was at this age and d) Christ is my life. And that's what it keeps coming back to: Christ is my life. I don't think it's bad to make plans and set goals and have dreams, as long as they don't become an idol and they don't take precedent over Christ in my life. Even though my life isn't what I would have planned, I know that Christ has taught me things and blessed me in ways that were only possible to do with the way He has directed my life. So I cling to Him for life, and I'm thankful that where I am in life continues to direct me back to Him.

I'm pretty sure that's the point, after all.

The Brick Testament

Have you heard of The Brick Testament?

As a review at Bible Study last night, our instructor showed pictures from this website. We were all laughing so hard - our previous lesson had been from Judges 3 and here are just a few of the pictures she showed:

This is where God "raised up" Ehud in Judges 3:15:

This is where Ehud kills King Eglon:

This is where the Israelites begin their massacre of the Moabites:

Not only are the lego creations amazing and creative, the picture quality is also great. Check it out! Might make you chuckle.

For Making Decisions

"...the conventional approach to discovering God's will focuses almost all of our attention on nonmoral decisions. Scripture does not tell us whether we should live in Minnesota or Maine. It does not tell us whether we should go to Michigan State University or Wheaton College. It does not tell us whether we should buy a house or rent an apartment. It does not tell us whether we should marry a wonderful Christian named Tim or some other wonderful Christian guy. Scripture does not tell us what to do this summer or what job to take or where to go to grad school...The most important issues for God are moral purity, theological fidelity, compassion, joy, our witness, faithfulness, hospitality, love, worship, and faith. These are His big concerns. The problem is that we ten to focus most of our attention on everything else. We obsess over the things God has not mentioned and may never mention, while, by contrast, we spend little time on all the things God has already revealed to us in the Bible."

from Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung, pg. 44

Here, Here!

My thanks to Becca for her post about our church. I, too, LOVE our church.

In addition to the small-town feel, the small group support, and the great acts of service that Becca mentioned, I loved that I immediately was connected to an awesome (read: godly and fun) peer group. I knew that I could find that at a number of churches in the area, but what I couldn't find above and beyond a supportive peer group that I did find at SGF is instant access to fabulous mentors (who are willing and excited to participate in my life) and opportunities to be directly involved in the lives of children. As a single woman I am more and more struck by the importance of being fed by older, wiser, married women, as well as "expressing the nurturing aspect of [my] femininity" through interacting with children (which is an awfully formal way of saying what I feel, but I can't think of a better way of saying it).

So, thank you, SGFers for being a part of my life, and letting me into yours! And thanks to God for His grace!

Homework

Two events occurred in the last two years, accompanied by various thoughts and convictions here and there, which have led me to a massive stack of "homework".

I'm finally committing myself to coming up with, defining, and writing out my core values. What defines me. What do I want to "be about". Spiritually, that is.

Event One: I was in a wedding where the gift the bride gave us was a verse (or verses) that she chose for us based on our character and personalities. Can I just say I thought that was the greatest gift!? Especially since each one of the passages she chose had great thought put into it and personal meaning. I've never had a "life verse" that I've claimed (and I've never wanted to, for many reasons, but that is an entirely different post...) but now I have changed my thinking some, and I have been struck by the passage I was given so much in the last year and a half, that it is now my "life verse". More on this in a moment...

Event Two: I was at a friend's house for a party a few months back and I saw this cute frame thing with different words and beautiful pictures in it. I made a comment on it and she informed me that the words were the core values that she and her husband had chosen for themselves. I was like, "COOL!" I loved it. And the things they chose were very appropriate for what they believe and how they live. I started to think that I would love to do that one day if I get married.

"If I get married..."....."when I get married...." It's a phrase that gets tagged onto a lot of thoughts and statements when you are in the "limbo-single-stage". I've read some encouragement to NOT live with the mindset to put things off until marriage comes, because there is no guarantee it will ever come. So DON'T wait to cultivate godly femininity, DON'T wait to practice your spiritual gifts, DON'T wait to be involved in a church/ministry....etc. So I said to myself, "DON'T wait to do your core values!"

But I don't want to just put some words down on a piece of paper and be satisfied that I've made another list. Instead I really wanted to put thought and study into my core values and be convicted with what I want my life to represent.

I kept coming back to the passage I was given as a basis for my core values. Separately, I came up with some values that I wanted to think about as being my core values. I narrowed that list down as far as I could and came up with seven words. Then I started to look at my passage of scripture and match up phrases with the words I chose. I wasn't going in any order at all and I was just picking and choosing phrases at random, and wouldn't you know, every phrase from the passage of scripture was taken when I got through my list of seven values. So I thought that was cool. When I started that process, I sorta thought I might like to narrow it down to only five values, but now I feel very happy to have seven.

And now I want to do more study on the passage I've chosen before I get into the definition and writing of my core values. Which is where the "homework" comes in. I will read some commentaries and listen to sermons. I went to the Desiring God site to look up sermons on my passage (which is only five verses long) and found THIRTEEN sermons. So that pretty much gives away the fact that my passage is in Romans.

I wanted to have this all done by my birthday, which I am now realizing won't happen, but I wanted to blog about this so that I have at least a little accountability and urgency to get this accomplished soonly.

So, stay tuned for what my life verses and core values are!

My Friends' Husbands

They are great.

I am so glad that so many of my friends have married well. I have great examples of what I am looking for in a future husband.

Even though some of the husbands tease me a bit too much from time to time, I know they do it because they know I can take it, and because we have a lot of fun together. I’m so glad that I don’t feel disappointed when hanging out with my friends turns into also hanging out with the husbands.

Here are some reasons I enjoy my friends' husbands (each item isn't something every husband does, rather, it’s a compiled list of things many of the different husbands do):

• They offer to hang up my coat, pull out my seat, and get me punch when we are at a wedding/event.
• They insist on carrying my bags in from the car.
• They call me to play cards when they need a fourth.
• They fix things for me at the cabin.
• They offer thoughtful compliments.
• They call me on my birthday.
• They take an interest in how my job is going.
• They play Ultimate/catch/other sporty things with me.
• They enjoy strange music and force me to listen to it until I also enjoy it.
• They are REALLY good at grilling.
• They are good dads.
• They buy my dinner now and again.
• They put up with my loud laugh, incessant talking, and many visits to their homes.
• They are smart and funny and nice.
• They love the Lord (this applies to all of them).

I got to thinking about these husband-people today because one of them was featured at C.J. Mahaney's blog. Matthew is attending the Pastors College in Maryland and recently talked about his experience there. I was very excited when I saw this post in my Reader! Matthew is an incredibly gifted speaker, preacher, and teacher. I have missed hearing him preach these last months and it was nice to have a small glimpse into what he has been doing and what brought them there. I have MISSED them this year (OH, HOW I HAVE MISSED THEM), but their trust in God's plan is encouraging and they both have amazing faith.

A Side of Humility, Please

I’ve fallen behind on the sermons at church (per usual when I am helping with children’s ministry) so I’m catching up. Last week's message on James 4:13-17 made me look at self-discipline in a new way.

Often when my daily devotions are inconsistent, or my eating habits are poor, or I avoid exercising like the plague, or I am procrastinating on everything job related, I think “If only I had more self-discipline”. I long to have the discipline I had during my favorite summer at camp. Thing is, I don’t necessarily have any less self-discipline now (I certainly wasn’t any less busy at camp, or less prone to distraction there), but instead it is more likely that I had less pride then. In other words, it’s more likely that my “lack of self-discipline” is a manifestation of pride.

I had never thought of it in these terms before. When I don’t put priority on my daily devotions, I really am saying that I don’t need that time in the Word. I can handle things myself. My schedule is more important. All of the mundane things of my life really need to take precedent over my devotions. I’m actually displaying pride and selfishness, not just a lack of discipline.

I’m thankful for reminders to check my pride so that I can make the adjustment before things get way off course. My life is a VAPOR and I need more humility to do discern and accept the Lord's will.

Wonderful Weekend

I basically enjoyed every single moment of my weekend.

• LOTS of laughs with my older sister and her friends on Friday night. LOTS.
• Beautiful weather - a nice drive home from Wisconsin on Saturday.
• Played with a friend's VERY cute (and huge) puppy. Also caught up with said friend. Caught up quickly, but still.
• Went on a walk. With a boy. And he is very nice. And very cute. And I was very nervous.
• Bought a new suit for work. Much needed.
• EASTER (the best part of the weekend). I LOVE MY CHURCH. And I love celebrating Christ risen from the dead.
• Tennis with my little sister.
• Watching the Masters. A playoff even. Good stuff.
• Chocolate Chip Pancakes for dinner. YUM.
• Amazing Race coming up.

So. What a nice weekend.

Glad They Messed Up

Tonight I am thankful that the Israelites made a covenant with the Gibeonites.

They were NOT supposed to, but they did. And I learned from it.

"So the men took some of their provisions, but did not ask counsel from the LORD. And Joshua made peace with them and made a covenant with them, to let them live, and the leaders of the congregation swore to them." Joshua 9:14-15 [emphasis mine]

The Gibeonites were from The Land, and Israel had been instructed not to make any covenants with people from the Land. Those Gibeonites....they were so sneaky! They came to Israel acting like they had traveled so far (ripping up their socks, wineskins, and clothes to add to the show) when really they had only come about 18 miles. They asked Israel for a covenant and, acting only on what they saw in front of them (deception) and without asking the Lord, Israel entered into covenant.

You see, I was about to jump into something head first. I realized as I read this passage that I haven't prayed about it properly or sought accountability from wiser sources enough to proceed. My life is very autonomous and there are big dangers in that - a couple of those being self-reliance and autonomous decision making. Especially without seeking the Lord's answer.

I'm also thankful I was pointed to Psalm 27 in association with the passage from Joshua:
"Teach me your way, O LORD, and lead me on a level path....Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" Psalm 27:11 and 14

So I'm waiting. And praying. And seeking wisdom.

The world is awfully sneaky and can put on quite the show, just like those Gibeonites. So I needed the reminder to not only act on what I see, but to WAIT and trust the WORD.

In other news....I should be sleeping. GRRRRR.....