One Single Sermon

I listened to a sermon on singleness this weekend, and after reading through my notes again, it is quickly becoming one of my favorite sermons on singleness. It was titled "Courtship Shmourtship" and it was given by the man who literally "wrote the book" on courting.

I think it is good to listen to many (wise) points of view on dating and courtship because I am certain that there is no ONE "right" way to go about dating, but there are also things to be aware of in order to avoid many of the "wrong" things there are about dating...does that make sense?......so I like to hear what people think about this whole dating and relationship thing.

And the first thing that caught my attention about this sermon was that he was preaching from the set of verses I chose for my core values. [Remember months ago (it was so long ago I can't even find my own post on it) when I was going to get around to telling you what my core values are.....yeah.....I'll get to it......]

If you are single, I would recommend you listen to the sermon (and possibly the second sermon in the series, which I have yet to listen to). If you aren't single, I will just share some of my favorite things I took away from the sermon (paraphrased).

A better problem for men to have is to adjust the context of pursuing someone than to pursue no one at all. Women: let men be your brothers and don’t assume there is more than friendship unless he actually STATES IT with his MOUTH.....in ENGLISH.........TO YOU. Not “he sorta kinda told me in winky language that he liked me”. This is not the place to get a word from the Lord, a word from him is more helpful.

Let the men in the church be brothers to the women in the church. If you feel that there is a lack of forthrightness and communication, women don’t have to keep entertaining that time – there is a point when a certain level of time and attention makes it hard to understand where that interest comes from, and women can let the men know that. Don’t read into it – and that’s for everyone in the church, too. If you see a friendship growing, don’t ask the girl where it is going – she is trying to let the guy lead in the relationship and it isn’t helpful to ask her about it! Let friendship grow naturally.

A single woman should not have to have a boyfriend to feel cherished and cared for in the family of God. (walking to car, drawing her out in conversation, etc) But what about guarding heart? Men’s care should be consistent for all single women so there won't be confusion. Sisters in your life should have total confidence that if you have interest, you will make that clear and there won’t be a vague relationship for an extended period of time.

We do need to guard our heart from sinful desires and being led astray. We don’t accept what the world says to follow our hearts. This shouldn’t become a self focused attempt to avoid EVER being disappointed. Don’t run away from relationships the moment you feel attraction – God can help you process that in a healthy way. Don’t cut yourself off from the good gifts of fellowship and friendship that God has for us. Don’t flee any disappointment: we don't need a life free of disappointment, but a life filled with faith. God will help us in those moments.