I Take Steroids

No, I'm not pursuing a career in professional baseball.

Oh, man. If I had one word to describe this week it would be "itchy".

First it was the chiggers (lake itch/swimmer's itch) I picked up over the Fourth.

SO ITCHY. NO SLEEPY.

Then last night I suddenly got red bumps on my elbows. I thought it was very strange, but assumed I must have set my elbows on something at the outdoor tables at Dairy Queen earlier that evening. I washed my elbows, took some Benadryl, and slept like a baby. Ahhhhh.

AND THEN.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up this morning was how I couldn't clench my fists. My hands felt so funny. They were SO SWOLLEN. Hmmm. I glanced at my elbows and saw how they were very bumpy and very hot-feeling. Hmmm. Then the LEGS. Have you seen the movie Hitch? 'Cause my legs looked like Hitch's face after he eats fish. WHOA. I'm not known for being the most alert or perceptive person in my first waking moments, but this chain of events brought me into reality in a hot tick.

I rushed my getting-ready-for-the-day, ran over to pick up my boss (who I had already planned to pick up at 6:40 to run to a meeting together), and quickly got confirmation from her that I should go directly to the doctor - do not pass go. Then I called doctor-sister (and woke her up on her vacation - sorry) to see if she thought I was allergic to almonds. Not sure how I thought she was going to figure that out for me, but it's the only thing I can think of that might have caused a reaction like that. I haven't eaten almonds....ever? I seriously can't think of when I would have eaten almonds. I always pick them out of trail mix, or if I do eat them in trail mix, I only eat a few. But yesterday I had about 30. I couldn't help it. They were covered in Dove Milk Chocolate, ATHANKYOUVERYMUCH.

Four hours after visiting the doctor I had taken steroids, ended the CRAZY ITCHING, and watched my legs turn back to normal. WHEW!

Now I'm headed out to practice my swing. I think the Twins need someone new in left field.