Alone, But Not Lonely

The following quote got me thinking:

"I am no more lonely than a single mullein or dandelion in a pasture, or a bean leaf, or sorrel, or a horse-fly, or a bumblebee. I am no more lonely than the Mill Brook, or a weathercock, or the north star, or the south wind, or an April shower, or a January thaw, or the first spider in a new house." -Henry David Thoreau

Fact: I am alone. This weekend I went to three Christmas parties...alone. I went to church...alone. I went to small group...alone. I watched the end of the Vikings game...alone.

Fact: I am not lonely. This weekend I went to three Christmas parties! On Sunday I had Welcome Team at church, small group, and I watched the Vikings! It was a full weekend.

The problem is that sometimes I feel lonely. I know, it doesn't make sense. Objectively I am not lonely - I have a lot to do, and I have a lot of people in my life. But feelings are weird like that. I know very beautiful women who feel ugly; thin women who feel fat; smart women who feel stupid. If you let them, feelings will take over. And feelings are not always right.

When these feelings start to creep in, it is important to think about the (capital T) Truth. Feelings are fickle (the Truth isn't). Feelings are deceptive (the Truth isn't).

Most importantly, feelings change (the Truth doesn't). So when I feel lonely, I remind myself that my feeling is subjective and is not really true.

I've never really had a problem doing things on my own - I'm pretty independent in that way. In fact, I usually prefer to do things on my own (it's much more efficient). But the older I get and the more I desire to be in a relationship, the more I notice that I come and go alone.

Alone, but not lonely.

Only recently has my loneliness started to matter more to me. And that's because I start to dwell on it more than on the Truth. So if I can capture those thoughts (feelings) more effectively, it will do a world of good.